Affirmation

Being a teacher is tough.  Oh, I'm sure you've all heard the standard whines; grading papers, taking classes, long hours during the school year, etc...  Summers off, you say?  I haven't had one completely duty free yet.  Those are all true, but misleading.  That's not really the toughest part of being a teacher.  It is the emotional toil and toll.

You see, a teacher comes to view their students as their own children.  Their successes and failures MATTER to us.  Every stumble, every poor choice, affects us on a personal, emotional level.  More than many occupations being a teacher defines not only what do, but who we ARE.  We can't help it.

Lately it has been especially tough for me.  This year's students seem especially apathetic and I see so many self-destructive behaviors that I worry daily about their futures.  I think I've more "sit down and cry" moments this year than any other.  (Yes, I cry about my students, at least once a year to be honest) So few seem to understand that education is important; that isn't about the "facts".  Education - the process - sets you up for the rest of your life.  Finding the positive behaviors in school leads you to the positive behaviors in life.  All this has made me feel like a failure this year.  I don't seem to making the dent I feel I should be making in their lives.

Last night, though...  Last night I got one of those moments teachers live for.  A moment where I got to see something positive.  Eight of my kids took to the stage for Poetry Out Loud.  Most of them had never recited poetry on stage.  Hell, most of them had never done ANYTHING on stage.  While I am proud of those who won (we swept the top three spots), I think I am a little prouder of those that didn't.  They stumbled, they struggled, but they finished.  Not a single one quit, no matter how rough it got.  THAT is a behavior that they will need in life.  Too many see difficulty and quit.  They didn't.  They persevered, climbed that mountain, and stood at the top.

My students sometimes joke that my class should be called "Life Lessons with McArthur" instead of English.  I like to think they learn those life lessons from the literature, but so long as they learn them I can wake up in the morning and stand in front of them every day.  Last night recharged the batteries again for a while.  This morning I can once again say, I love what I do - and by extension - who I am.